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Dear American liberals, leftists,  social progressives, socialists, 
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al.  We have stuck together since the 
late 1950s, but the whole of this latest  election process has made me 
realize that I want a divorce. 
I know  we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future 
generations,  but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two 
ideological  sides of America cannot and  will not ever agree on what 
is right so let’s just end it on friendly  terms.  We can smile and 
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences  and go our own way. Here is 
a model separation agreement: 

Our  two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each 
taking a  portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our 
two  sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be 
 relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly 
 divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate 
 tastes. 

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep  them. 

You are welcome to the liberal judges and the  ACLU. 

Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms,  the cops, the 
NRA and the military.  You can keep Oprah, Michael  Moore and Rosie 
O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a  bio-diesel 
vehicle big enough to move all three of  them). 

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,  pharmaceutical 
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. 

You can  have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal 
aliens.   We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and 
rednecks.   We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. 

You  can make nice with Iran and  Palestine and we’ll  retain 
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. 

You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.  When our  allies or our 
way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them  security.. 

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values..  You  are welcome to Islamic 
Terrorists, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley  McClain. 

You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer  be paying the bill. 

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks  and oversized luxury cars. You can 
take every Subaru station wagon you can  find. 

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find  any practicing 
doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury  and not a 
right. 

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic andthe  National Anthem. 

I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute  Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the 
World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the  World. 

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you  can give 
trickle up poverty your best shot. 

Since it  often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and 
our  flag. 

Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass  it along to other like 
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you  do not agree, just 
hit delete.. 

In the spirit of friendly parting,  I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us 
will need whose help in 15  years. 

Sincerely, 

John J.  Wall 
Law  Student and an American 

P.S.  Also, please take Barbara  Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.